A while ago my Mom (HI MOM!!!!) asked me to go down to LA for a few days to keep my little brother company while he participates in a baseball camp at USC. “Why not?” I said, as I don’t really get much time to spend with him during the year between school and craziness in the Bay. But this means I’d have to do that dreaded thing all tall people loathe to do….. fly.
And why is that kids? I think you know: no frigin‘ leg room. I’ve complained about it in the past, all the way back to one of the first videos I ever made for my “fun” video account. (“Busting the Cycle“) But what it never addressed and what I’ve never addressed is my supreme hatred for short people in the exit row. And not just short people, but short people that seem to like to point out that this is not necessary leg room for them, but EXTRA leg room. Case in point, the dude that sat next to me yesterday as I luckily got a seat in the first row.
As you can see, this guy has decided to display just how much room he has by extending his legs straight in front of him and put them against the wall in front. One time I got on a flight and as I walked past a tiny woman said aloud, “I just love all this extra leg room!!!” I know it’s hard for people who are not tall to understand, but on some flights if I don’t get a spot with an adequate amount of leg room I walk off the flight with my knees looking like I’m a prostitute who can’t afford knee pads for my gigs in the Quickie Mart parking lot. Here, let me show you just how big a difference there is between how much room this guy has vs. me.
Notice how my leg is at a 90 degree angle vs my neighbors which is on a flat, 0 degree plane? And as if that wasn’t bad enough, there was the people across the aisle….
Sorry about the overexposed-ness of this one, but you can clearly see her shoe against the wall, just like the tiny guy next to me. Later, the two other people sitting with her did the same thing, as well as the guy to my right. ALL of them were way too short to be allowed to sit in that aisle.
And poor “bon Garcon” stuck a few aisles behind me. I guess he can survive it, he’s only 6’3.5″
I look forward to the day when I can afford to sit in first class after making oodles of cash from producing my Aboriginal Boy Band “Dark Skin, Colorful Palms”.