United Airlines is trying to kill me

Or as it should be known by it’s other title: I’m flying again and flying sucks for tall people.

I wish I could be more positive about flying that I am. As is harped on by all tall people, flying is one of the least height friendly activities one can participate in while tall. On this particular trip I am forced to fly 3 different legs to get form San Francisco to New Orleans. Why three? Cause I’m using my mileage and I guess this helps them fill our their flight numbers or something else. Which means three different times I am forced to deal with repeated negative issues of tall flight. But here are some fun tips to help my tall readers navigate comfort this holiday season:

#1: Early Checking to fight for baggage space.

We all want bulk head and exit row, prime reasons to check in early. But there is an even more important reason to check in early: so that you can physically get on the plane in an earlier group. This is important in order to make sure that you can have the storage space beneath the chair in front of you as a place to stick your legs. How does this tie into getting on the plane early? Observe.

Every person on the planet now has those damn little rolly bags that fight perfectly in the overhead bin. I believe, through my indepth scientific analysis*, that this has increased the number of people carrying all their bags onto the flight by 845%. This means that you have to fight to get your bags into that overhead so you can have your leg room. So check in early!!!

#2: Find a row where there is a seat open next to yours

As your doing your online check-in thing, try to get a seat that is in an empty row or has two empty seats. Even if you can’t get it online, keep your eyes pealed as you are getting on your flight. This is so you can not only use the seat in front of your as a place to store your legs, but the one next to you. On the first leg of this journey, I tried these poses.

The straight leg

The cross leg

#3: Avoid hitting your head

I know, I know. Everyone should not want to hit their head. But look at this picture.

It’s like they installed them to decapitate the vertically inclined. I can live with the doorways to the plane being smaller, but in the event of an emergency I might not be thinking clearly and knock myself unconscious. Thank you United. Not only are you making me fly across the country and halfway back to visit family you’re trying to make emergency situations harder on your tall patrons.

I hope this helps! And please share any suggestions you might have in the comment section.


9 thoughts on “United Airlines is trying to kill me

  1. I know, right? It's so annoying being able to see over people at a concert. And if one more person asks me to grab something for them from the top shelf, I'm going to step on their head. Also- it's damn near impossible to wrestle.

  2. awesome post… I second that flying totally sucks for tall people. Maybe one day, KLM will meet the needs of her people and lead the leg-room revolution.

  3. I just discovered this blog and I love it! I stand about 6'9" (at age 24) and love seeing the problems I face all the time expressed here comically. Keep it up!

  4. I don't know if this is handy. I fly on business a lot and am 6'3, but a lot in my legs. I got my doctor to make a recommendation that for my health I needed extra legroom and my employer agreed to always try to get me into an exit row or bulkhead seat or business class on longer trips. It has worked well so far.

  5. I've just run across your blog and wanted to add some comments as a 6'9" 350 lb guy who is both big and tall.When planning on flying check http://www.seatguru.com. It show which seats have more/less legroom. We all know about exit row/bulk head, but you can also find other seats that have a few extra inches or no seat in front of you.Also, if you're a frequent flier, call your airline and ask to be put in the exit row. Complain about DVT etc and they'll often move you to a row with more leg room.

  6. Just found your blog and I love it! Such empathy! I am 6'2" and often flew between college and home on little planes. I think the worst has to be when people recline their seats….taking away any hope of trying to be comfortable. Are we allowed to ask them not to? I always wonder about the social etiquette there…

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