I apologize for stopping so abruptly last week but I noticed how long the story was and my head was still full of things to say. I knew I couldn’t finish everything so I decided to rip it like a band-aid and finish it this week. So if you are reading this blog for the first time, please feel free to check out last week’s blog so you can ‘catch up’.
So, I’m pouring out a bit of my soul to you in sharing a few of my dating stories because in comparison to many women, I don’t have as many stories. However, I’m more than willing to share what I’ve got because inevitably, they wind up funny.
So we’re off again with little bits ad pieces of stories, no names (unless it’s a good story)…let’s see, there’s the 35 year old guy I met one night while out with friends. Divorced, which is pretty typical nowadays and he was pretty tall. I think about 6’2′” or 6’3″. We agreed to meet for lunch in a couple of days.
When we met, as I mentioned, I was out with friends so it was a much easier situation. You have familiar faces around you and it is much more comfortable than if you were on a blind date. The guy was really nice and he was with his brother so I fully expected our lunch date to run just as smoothly as our night.
Now I was about 34 at the time so outwardly I’m a grown woman (you all know I’m still a dorky kid in my head) so when he arrived to pick me up for the date and when he handed me a ‘mix CD’ I felt like I was in the twilight zone. What happened to flowers? Or even a nice welcoming hug? There had been no previous conversations about music so I was surprised. Is this now the thing to do? Are mix CD’s back in style like they were when I was in 10th grade?
I fumbled through the rest of the date and it was painfully awkward. He felt silly when I mumbled, ‘Thanks’ and shoved the CD in my purse. I felt silly when I couldn’t feign more excitement. Yeah…he didn’t call me.
Oh, and I shouldn’t leave out the other guy that was a bit taller than me. We went out for several weeks. He had a girlfriend that he ‘forgot’ about. She didn’t forget. All of her phone calls one night made that crystal clear.
So let’s go back to Match.com. I thought I was fairly specific in my criteria of what I was looking to find in my ‘soul-mate’ however the majority of responses were from either really short men or very old men. I had a light-hearted feel to my profile and my tag line said,
“Go ahead, ask me how the weather is up here! Just don’t ask me what happened to the last guy that did that.”
At first I wanted to be polite to everyone. I acknowledged every e-mail with an e-mail typically saying, ‘Thanks, but no thanks’. But they would continue to e-mail and it got to the point of being almost nasty. I was accused of being stuck-up, unwilling to try dating shorter men, small-minded, the list goes on. Obviously after several horrible e-mails I started ignoring those that I didn’t even want to bother with. And then soon after, I stopped even checking Match. com.
Just a quick side note, I do know several couples that have met and married from meeting on Match.com so it works…just not for me.
So at this point, I’m living in Portland, I don’t know very many people and I’ve decided I’ve got to find a way to meet new friends. I’ve mentioned it before but this is when I joined the Portland Skyliners Tall Club. Disclaimer: I did not join to meet TALL men.
I joined in May 2007 and attended social functions through the summer and fall. Then at one particular social function in November 2007 I met an interesting man. I thought, ‘Here’s a guy I could be friends with!’. A few months later we were dating and we are still together.
What’s really funny about meeting him is that he had winked at me on Match but it was at the point where I stopped looking completely. Yes, he’s a little taller than me which is definitely nice but not one of my requirements.
Okay, now I get on my soapbox and I’ll wind up with a list (I love lists!). Dating is tough regardless of your height, weight, looks, smarts, pretty much everything. The good thing is there is enough variety for all persons to be covered. The hard part is finding your niche. Being a TALL female I found the following to be true most of the time
- Typically, men don’t like to date women taller than them however if YOU don’t care, they won’t care (as much).
- I found that more men wanted to date me on Match than I probably had time for so if you want an active social life and you want to try dating men of all different personalities, Match.com may be for you.
- I had a lot of friends who always knew of someone who was ‘perfect’ for me simply because he was taller…..hmmm.
- Match.com provided me with some of the greatest laughs and best reading material I’ve ever read in my entire life. Seriously.
- I personally don’t enjoy being propositioned by extremely, pushy men via e-mail (I don’t know many tall women that actually like this…PLEASE COMMENT IF I’M WRONG!!!).
- ‘Dating for Fun’ is one of the stupidest phrases anyone has ever spoken to me in a sentence.
- Grandma was actually right, if you stop looking, that’s usually when you find that someone special.
So I guess to recap, TALL dating isn’t any harder than overcoming other issues in life. If you don’t care about height, your confidence will shine and others will be attracted to you. This is my own personal experience.