What it’s really like being 6’4″ and a woman!

Have a drink, you might need it.

Pull up a chair and grab a glass of whatever fortifies you.  We are about to get real.  The good, the bad, and the ugly.  I’m in this habit of baring my soul lately and laying all my cards on the table so I think it’s high time (pun intended) to talk about what it actually means to be 6’4″ and to be female.  I personally enjoy it most of the time but I can tell you, it’s not living high off the hog 100% of the time.  So get comfortable because I have a feeling this could be a long blog.  Let’s talk about how it all started…

I didn’t even notice I was tall until I was in 7th grade.  That may sound a little odd considering that I was 5’7″ in 6th grade but there were 4 of us total that were all 5’7″.  It wasn’t weird for any of us to be tall because there were so many of us.  Plus, having sisters and a family that were all above average, 5’7″ really seemed normal.  So when 7th grade hit, I kept growing and the other 3 girls stopped, that’s when I realized I was tall.  By 9th grade I was 6’1″ and starting varsity basketball.  I weighed about 155 pounds, tall and thin.

Freshman year and I got the smallest uniform (okay, maybe not but I wasn’t a small girl). Oh, in the event you can’t figure out which one is me, I’m 4th from the left in the back row.  Hot, huh?

By 11th grade I was 6’3″ and about 195 pounds and I had an attitude.  I didn’t understand why I was so tall and although I was very popular at school, I spent a lot of time being angry.  I don’t know that many of my friends would’ve even noticed it but when I look back at my journals they reveal just how mad I was.  Of course, I’m sure much of that was the normal ‘teen angst’ but I can see many of my journal entries pointed to the fact that I was SO DIFFERENT and TALL.  Why was I taller than everyone else?  Why didn’t boys ask me out?  Why couldn’t I wear name-brand clothes?  Why did I have to wear mens jeans?  Why do I have to play basketball?  Why can’t I find a single pair of pants that actually fit?

If I was a boy my height would be celebrated but I’m a girl and I get made fun of all the time!!!!

I can honestly say that in high school the only thing I liked about being tall was the fact that it helped me play volleyball and softball.  And of course, basketball, even though I didn’t care for basketball so much.  I loved volleyball and I was pretty good too.  Softball I played first base and I have to say I think I was pretty good at that as well.  Basketball…well, I was good because I was tall.  My best friend, Molly would throw me the ball and I would make the basket, hence the 45 point per game average.

By the time I was a senior, I really hated being tall.  Sports were the only thing that kept me sane because although I had some really great friends, I wasn’t like anyone else and I didn’t like it.  And sometimes, even playing sports was hard.  Opposing teams would come up with horrible nicknames for me.  Crowds would chant awful things at me, and yes, even the parents would go along with it.  I got mistaken for a boy more times than I can remember.  I cried a lot.

Most of my friends were 5’11” or much shorter so although some were tall, no one was 6’4″.  I was a head above most everyone and that was SO uncomfortable.  I did hunch my shoulders because I didn’t want to appear taller.  I wanted to fit in.  I wanted to look everyone else in the eye instead of having to bend down to hear what was being said.  I wanted to have a date!

I cursed the fact that I was tall because I wasn’t like everyone else. 

And then I went to college and a whole new world opened up to me.  My cohorts were my fellow volleyballers and basketballers and everyone was taller!  And most of my guy friends played football so they were much bigger.  Oh the joy!!!  I fit right in and I started  not to notice how tall I was because I was looking everyone else in the eye.  Also, in college everyone is weird because we were all trying to find our niche.  It somehow seemed ‘okay’.  I stopped being angry and started accepting my height as part of me.

Is my blog getting long?  Is it time to stop and eat something yet?  Yes???

Hot dog? Fries? or Both? Definitely both!

In college I pretty much ‘forgot’ that I was different because by then everyone was doing everything they could to be different.  Now I was just like everyone else and the ‘normal’ college-goers were the weird ones, sorta.  I could party with the best of them, I was very well-known partially because I was so recognizable but I also went to every party and knew everyone.  It was a wonderful time in my life with no responsibilities, lots of friends, and mischief and fun to be had everywhere!  I made the most of this time and I still maintain many of these contacts to this day (you ALL know who you are!).

I celebrate my height by playing the air guitar! What do you do?

Then the real world hit and although some of the frivolous fun had to be set aside for me to grow up, I realized the wonderful opportunity I had by being 6’4″.  I truly believe that everyone is given some attribute that they can use to their advantage.  Mine happens to be my height.  It’s up to each individual to figure out what they have so they can ‘rock it’.  And I personally believe that height is one of those things that all women should be proud of.  I’ll be honest, although I loved being tall when I was 25, I don’t think I’ve been ‘rocking it’ until I hit 30.  That’s when I realized that my differences do get me noticed.  But it doesn’t stop there.  In order for me to be the type of person I want to be I have to be kind, respectful, as FUNNY as I can, honest, loyal….you get the picture.  Get yourself noticed for your attribute, but then make sure that inside you are the person you want to be.  Anyway, here are a few things that I think are a direct result of my height (disclaimer:  these are my own personal opinions, so if you don’t agree or are offended…too bad)

  • I can gain up to 20 pounds and my pant size typically doesn’t change, true story
  • I get mistaken for an executive level a lot higher than what I actually am
  • I’m the first one noticed when I’m with a group
  • I can strike up a conversation with pretty much anyone, homeless person to cab driver to random person on the street
  • I actually love shopping (this is definitely a personal opinion because I have friends who strongly debate me on this but I’ve put in hours and hours finding out my sizes and which clothes suit me so I have a fantastic time looking at fashion)

Thought I was done writing, didn’t ya? Nope….I’m long-winded!

Okay, now let’s talk about the bad stuff.  Like I said, it’s not wonderful 100% of the time.  Sometimes I just want to go to Walgreen’s in my jammies and unwashed hair to get some toothpaste and tampons and I don’t want to talk to the random stranger about how awesome and amazing it is to be tall.  Can’t they leave me alone?

Or how about when I’m talking to a wonderful man and then when I excuse myself to use the restroom I don’t want to feel the disappointment when I see his shocked and horrified expression on his face because I forgot to mention how tall I was and he was unprepared for this ‘little’ surprise when I stood up (yes, this has happened to me multiple times).

And what about the comments.  Oh boy, the comments.  I ride the train a lot here in Portland and people simply love to comment under their breath, to whomever they’re with, or even to my face sometimes about just how tall I am.  It’s not always complimentary and it can be downright rude.  Just once I’d like to be given a free pass to smack someone.

I still dislike standing in a group of shorter people because it’s hard to hear what’s being said sometimes.  I’m not hard of hearing but if there are others around or even loud noises, it’s difficult to keep track of the conversation.  My mind will wander and then inevitably I’ll look like an idiot.

I continue to get mistaken for a man.  Yes, it’s true.  Especially if I choose to wear a baseball cap and some non-form fitting clothes.  Although I will say at a baseball game when I was asked, ‘What would you like, sir?’  I didn’t respond and the bartender finally looked up at me to notice I was female.  I smiled and when I said, ‘Beer’.  He handed me two and said, ‘On the house.’

Hmmm…I’m at a baseball game here.

The good, the bad, and ugly.  I know I missed a few things and everyone has their own personal stories but I hoped I covered enough in this VERY LONG BLOG.  I hope you are still awake.  🙂  Til next time.

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35 thoughts on “What it’s really like being 6’4″ and a woman!

  1. Great blog!!!! You are a gifted writer. I think everyone would love to standout like you do. I wish everyone had your view point on life. I think people would be a lot happier and the country would be better off. Do people ever ask you to get things down for them, or do you notice and just go over and offer?

  2. No kids, but 5 nieces and a nephew. The nieces are all vying to be as tall as me!! I’m trying to teach them that height is a good thing and not a bad thing and so far it seems to be working.

  3. As a woman who is 6’5″ I can related in a BIG way to everything you wrote. Not sure how old you are. I am 51. What I got out of being this tall is: 1) an extreme empathy with anyone who is different in any way and a caring heart toward the “square pegs” of the world 2) a college basketball scholarship at LSU 3) an extremely independent attitude and entrepreneurial spirit 4) an appearance in the “Height Issue” of Playboy in July, 1991. I do have a son that is 20 and 6’5″ and a shorter husband…he is only 6’3″!! I also have to deal with people accusing me of being a man though I, like you, look nothing like a man. I can’t go anywhere without being noticed so I usually go out of my way to look my best but find it funny that people are usually more likely to accuse me of being a man when I am my most “dolled up”. I guess the more make-up I wear the more I look like a drag queen! LOL You are a beautiful woman and look like a heck of a lot of fun. All the best, Heidi

    • Heidi, I remember that issue of Playboy, and anyone accusing you of being a man needs to have their eyesight checked!

      hollij, as a 5’7″ guy, a former sportswriter who’s had many six-foot-plus lady-friends over the years (and even dated a few), I’m happy you’re so comfortable with your height. Most tall women I know are assertive and confident, qualities I admire in any woman, regardless of stature. Stand tall, stand proud.

  4. I’m 6’2….the hubs for 11 years now is 5’6….*gasp* You should see the looks & hear the comments we have gotten together!!!! Ha ha ha..people.
    Loved reading the walgreens portion….happens literally every day. Id love to have that pass from time to time as well…some comments are just plain rude. Great blog, i look forward to more good reads! 🙂

  5. Really enjoyable reading as I am a 6’3″ gentleman that just loves tall women. But I am left wondering two things–is she married and does she like men?

  6. Hi I’m Katie. I’m in high school now and I’m tall. I was reading your blog and it made me happy to know I wasn’t the only one who angry or sad about being tall. In fact recently it seems like everyone picks at it. I literally have to wright rant letters it gets me so angry. It is so try that girl get made fun of for it and guys get praised for it is aggravating. It feels like no one understands. I am glad I came upon this blog. It makes me feel much better. It’s hard to feel like its a good thing though when everyone picks at differences.

  7. Hello, I’m Krystal & I’m 6’2. I own over 50 pair of heels I’m talking 6inch pumps too … That I no longer feel comfortable wearing bc I’m so tall & people love to point it out. I hate that I can’t find a tall man that like tall women. & most of all I hate that ppl consider me a grown ass man… When I look nothing like one. But I know I’m beautiful & i have a good heart. I just wish ppl would look past my height & get to know the real me.

    • I am a man 6’3″ and was married until a year ago to a woman that was 6′. I much prefer tall women but the average woman in central Alabama is 5’4″. So Krystal, if you don’t have the geographical problem that I do, find yourself a guy equal to your height in heels.

  8. Hi im allesha and im 16 and 6 foot 2 this blog really helped me alot my friends try to help when I catch an attitude when someone randomly comes up to me to talk about my height our ask do I play basketball but they just don’t understand this really helped thank you so much!!

  9. Thank you for this. I am 6’1 and 19. I may not be as tall as you. But, I go through all of this. I cannot find clothes. I’m all legs and a 38″ inseam is hard to find. As well as trying to get what’s “hip” in that size. Tanning salons with fans, smack my arm every time. Or any rooms with ceiling fans. Haha. I wear platform heels a lot, I model, and I’m then the height of a standard door way, 6’8″. And I love all this, but people are so mean to me about it. It got so bad I’ve had to change schools over the harassment. Luckily, I found an extra tall man, he is 6’7″. So we get to deal with our awkward tallness together. And boy can it be funny. We went on a movie date last weekend and when we stood up a few people yelled “omg!! They are so freakishly tall!” I get a kick out of it, and to humor myself when the comments get too much I reply, “omg average height people!” Kinda reminds them, ” hey we are human. Lol”

  10. I have so much to share as a man only 5’0″
    Always hiding my height, walking around the edges of crowded places, trying desperately to appeal to a woman that is considerably taller although I am very attractive and in great shape.

    It seems that women prefer a fat out of shape guy closer to their height than to consider an attractive short guy. (Mystery of the Universe) Yes; I am not often considered Executive material and am overlooked for my real value.
    I would like nothing better than to be with and adapt to a tall women’s life style. I would welcome such valuable and rare insight and dialogue.
    Michael Williamson

  11. Hello fellow tall people. I am 6″ (have been since I was 11). I had a hard time in school, as I was the tallest, including all the teachers, and also weighed 110 lbs. The only reason I got through it was everyone thought I was tough as well. I love being tall now, I don’t hunch over any longer and wear heels as much as I can. I thank you for your post. It’s nice to know others have similar experiences. I got mistaken for a man soo many times that I decided to get implants so there would be NO confusion (only once since has someone called me sir). I am glad to hear that you also find it hard to hear your shorter friends talk as I have often felt that I was going deaf!

  12. Hi,
    This blog is really comforting for me. I am 30, 5’10” and I love heels, but I HATE the staring and the rude comments! Even at 30, being called/mistaken for a man can bring me to tears! I get anxiety and it’s hard for me to stomach. I love being tall, I just don’t like the ridicule…..ok I’m done with lamenting. The point is, I want to encourage my team of tall beauties on this blog to ROCK ON! It’s not just you there are lots of tall women sharing the same struggle.

  13. I’m a guy of 5’9″ and once dated a girl who was 6’3″. She was a wonderful girl, and I felt I made a mistake breaking up with her because she was “too tall.” Yes, that was a shallow thing of me to do but I was young and immature at the time. Not only was she tall, she was beautiful, too. But all my so called friends seemed to have a say. I wish I could go back in time and tell my younger self not to listen to them. Now I can’t seem to wonder what might have been. To this day, I find taller women to be extremely attractive. If I had a chance to date a taller girl again, I would in a heartbeat.

  14. Pingback: More Tall Times as a 6’4″ Woman (Additional thoughts…) | The Tall Blog

  15. Hi! My 16yr cousin is 6’4 and she has trouble finding clothes that fit her height (particuarly bathing suits b/c she would prefer a tankini to a bikini. She likes her clothes a little more modest than her height allows). I’ve heard most “tall” clothes for women are for around 6 feet. Do you recommend anywhere that has a good selection?

    • Hello.. I know this response is late…but tell your cousin to check out Alloy.. They have really nice clothes. I am 6 ft 3 and wear a 37 inseam ,but they go up to a 39. Also have dresses, jackets and different appearl that come in Tall sizes..

  16. Hi, I’m 6’4″ and my husband of 32 years is 5’6″. We have 4 children all shorter than me but all tall or tall-ish. Shortest daughter is 5’7″. So I fixed the gene pool.
    Although I loved and still love being tall I fell in love with a shorty. My whole family growing up was tall to extremely tall. Buying clothes is easier now than it used to be but it is still a challenge. So is fitting in certain cars, plane seats, bicycles, exercise equipment, fitting under shower heads, walking on the sidewalks where they have those umbrellas and having to duck. Pushing a stroller and having to bend over, etc. all little annoyances that the adverse person doesn’t have to think about.
    Walking anywhere I am noticed and remembered. It is like being a celebrity without the body of work.
    Stand tall

  17. Hello Hollij (Dutch?); I love your blog. You write wonderfully and enjybly. Would love to meet a woman like you. I’m 5’10 and LOVE taller women. Any height over 6′; however if taller than a certai point I would have dificulty hearing… a bt deaf… But any height gets me going. That story about the old guy who is surprised/horrified by the height of his lady friend when she gets up from sitting. A bit like a Dutch film about a band where a short guy meets a taller woman like that. Silly movie but great tall women. For me, if a women sitting is anywhere near my height standing thn she is very tall …nice! I do Tall Women image manips for fun. I once went to an int/l basketball competition for women players. It drove me nuts. All these fabulously tall athletic women. I noticed how high up from t grund their arses were when they bend forward. Thrilling. I saw a Russian bb player from a distance, she was 6’9. I almost fainted… Tall and very tall women will rule one day. Women are getting taller ad stronger. The Earth wants/needs Women ‘Towers of oestrogen’ to rule. May that day come soon. One day even at my ToL (60) I’ll find my own Taller Woman for Life. Thanks again for all you wrote it was all enjoyable. Blessings. Philip.

  18. Love love love everything you wrote about being tall. I’m 5’11 and always been the tallest girl of my friends and usually guys too lol. I live wearing tall heels l, like 4” tall. And in my 20’s I never did because I felt like a giant and like people would stare and comment things. But now in my 30’s all I wear is high heels and I’m loving it. I don’t care what people say anymore or the looks I get. If they can’t handle my height then you aren’t the person for me 🙂 it is hard to find clothes that’s fits, that’s for sure. Short dresses aren’t a dress it’s a little longer shirt for me, leggings are usually high water pants haha. But with age I’m starting to realize that you are how you are so embrace all that and live your life like you want to and don’t listen to other people or how other people will see you. I’m much more happier now then I’ve ever been in my life about my height. 😊

  19. Hello.. I was wondering what websites you shop on? I am 6 ft 3.5 inches. I mostly shop on Alloy. I wear a 37 inseam but the go up to a 39 and have really nice , welling fitting clothes for us..

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