Talk Tall to Me

There are few things I like better than ‘Talking Tall’. I love comparing stories with those like-bodied people who have funny tidbits to share. Usually in some way, shape, or form we can all relate to a tall story because we have experienced it or something similar.  Many times I will be approached by random tall people because they want to share a story with me. It’s a tall brotherhood. Or a tall sisterhood. Whichever way you choose to look at it.

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My Tall Family, with a close family friend (the short one!)

But here’s the rub, when a short person asks me direct and specific questions about being tall, I sometimes find it hard to answer.  I wonder if I start spilling all of my awesomely, hilarious and entertaining tall stories, this short person is going to be at their next party saying, “So I was talking to this giant and she was telling me about her height.  She told me…” and then they relay some of my great stories.

I’m not usually very shy so I’ll ‘talk Tall’ with anyone but I find it much more stimulating to discuss anything height-related with other tall people.  I wonder, does that make me a heightist?  Short people usually don’t get it.  They try.  They will tell me their horror stories of trying to find clothes and I can’t relate.  All I can think about is how the petite sections have been around forever.  And I can’t feel pity for a short person who can buy clothes long enough and then get them tailored to fit.  I’ve even had some short people tell me they can shop in the kids section.  I’m thinking ‘Sweet!’.  The kids section has some of the coolest clothes. Who doesn’t want a Hulk t-shirt?

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Talking Tall with my friend, Megan who is also 6’4″.

So I guess I don’t know where this leaves me.  I have the type of personality where I can’t stop talking to people so maybe I need to get over my reluctance to share my stories with those physically less fortunate.  Because come on, I’ve really got some good stories to share.

I’ll continue to regale short and tall alike and hope that even though both sides of the coin are dramatically different, we can all relate in some way.  And if not, then I hope I can at least make someone laugh.

 

 

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Tall Attitude

I have an attitude every day of my life (my mother will vouch for this) and this morning was no exception. It started out like any other day…

I walk to work anywhere from 6:30-8:00 am depending on when I get up, what my schedule looks like for the day, and to be entirely truthful, my level of motivation. Lately, I’m all about work. So this morning it was about 6:45 and I was walking near the capital.  I decided that I wanted to stop at Walgreens to pick up some eyeliner.  I’m leaving for Mexico in about a week and it wouldn’t behoove me to run dry on eyeliner on my trip. Now Walgreens doesn’t open until 7:00 so I loiter out front for a few minutes.

I was minding my own business, playing ‘Tiny Tower’ on my iPhone and I hear this voice very clearly say to me, ‘Why you gotta be so Tall?’

In all honestly, I wasn’t in the mood.  It was early and I didn’t want to think about what clever comeback I could come up with.  So I chose to ignore it.

Again that voice, ‘Hey you!  Why you gotta be so Tall?’

I could feel someone crowding my space so I made eye contact with a very, very short woman who was glaring at me as if she had a personal problem with my height.  Immediately, I took offense.  I probably didn’t help the situation when I sniffed (probably arrogantly), looked her up and down, and turned away.

She got angrier, ‘I’m talking to you and I asked you a question?’

Softly I responded, “I heard you.  I figured that you couldn’t be that stupid to ask someone twice your size, a dumb question like that.’  I sweetly smiled and went back to playing on my phone.

She started to say more so I looked up and made eye contact again.  This time I wasn’t smiling.  Oddly enough, she moved on.

I am a nice person.  Way too nice, in fact because I tend to give people far more credit than they deserve but this woman got under my skin.  I ended up not getting my eye-liner.  I guess this means I’ll have to go back.  I should also mention, this did not ruin my day.  I actually told this story in a couple of my meetings and it got people to laugh, so all in all, I chalk it up to yet another Holli-experience.

Big hat, polka dots, water, and a smile.  Now that's a happy face!

Big hat, polka dots, water, and a smile. Now that’s a happy face!

Tall, dark and easy to spot at the bar

Oh grad school, why do you keep me from being able to post on my blog on a regular basis? Why must everyone suffer and not have a new tall story to read? I have had many things happen that I must write about and could share. But alas, you keep me from sharing with your projects, endless reading and responsibilities. Screw you Grad school, I’m gonna write a blog post.



Despite my drinking last night at the bar, I am up right an early at the crack of 7:53am to share a fun little exchange I had last night. And by little, I mean I was talking to my tiny (5′-0″) fellow student last night at the bar.

We were announcing the winners of the election for the Graduate Business Association, which is similar to the student body council in my program of which I am currently president (blows on nails, buffs them against shirt). We do this at a bar so that when it’s time to celebrate we’re in the right place to make it happen. Not long after announcing the winners I walk over to a friend of mine, let’s call her J as she is waiting to order at the bar. As I said, she’s 5’0″ tall so I lean against the bar to slink down to close to her height so we can chat. I will do my best to write the conversation as verbatim as possible:

Me: “Hey mama, what’s up?”

J: “Nada. You excited about not being president anymore?”

Me: “Yes and no. Kind of bitter sweet. That is a fantastic boobie top your wearing.”

J : (smiling and slightly blushing)“Oh my god” (In that way where she can’t believe I really just said that, not in the ‘oh wow, he’s so hot, I can’t believe he notice me’ kind of way)

Me: “You trying to order a drink for long?”

J: “A little while.”

Me: “Want to bet who’ll get the bartenders attention faster? All I have to do it stand up and he’ll come to me. With my white shirt on I’m like a buoy in the middle of the bar with a flashing light.”

J: “That’s not true.”

I proceed to stand up and within two seconds the bartender takes my order. I slink back down. My friend is a little surprised.

Me: “Told you. See, you just need to work what God gave you. You have a lovely boobie shirt on under that jacket. Let them go free and I promise you’ll get service better and faster than me.”

She laughs, then not long after, she’s taken off her jacket.

We all have gifts given to us by our creator (whichever Star Trek energy being that is, but I don’t want to turn this into a religious blog) and we should use those gifts to their fullest extent. If you are a tall guy, it’s getting the bartenders attention with your height. If you’re a short girl, it’s getting the bartenders attention with your breasts…. and then maybe getting a free drink cause your hot….

Score for Tall men, 1.

Score…. hot tiny women with breasts…. nothing, you have breasts, you win.


Delightful image stolen from www.mancouch.com, a place of higher learning and thought.

🙂 Happy weekend guys.

tiny women use me like a jungle gym

I know the topic of why tall me like tiny women I’ve discussed before, but I’ve discovered a fun insight I feel like I had lost for a while.

One of the reasons that tall guys like to date tiny women (and why they love us) is the obvious thing I don’t think I’ve mentioned before: the fact that we can toss them around like rag dolls.

And I mean that in the best way possible. I was at a bar last week, out with my best friends rec sports team. The usual people were there, but someone I hadn’t seen in a while showed up. I was a little drunk, she’s tiny (5’1″ and maybe 100lbs) and I picked her up. Then someone yelled out that I should put her legs around my head, which I took to mean to hang her upside down off my shoulders. This was not what they meant and yelled “No! Put her on your shoulders!” So I flip her back over, seat her on my left should then flip her leg over my head. I’m told she really enjoyed it and wanted to enjoy it more later….

And why not? I think women kind of want that. To know that the guy they are with is so strong her can do that. Honestly, I was thrilled I was able to because I think grad school has been sapping my muscle definition this year. Thankfully, my return to climbing has helped it to return enough where I can impress a pretty young lady by flipping her around a little.

I’m sorry tall ladies, but I don’t think I can do that with a chick that is 6’0″. Love you though I might, this is something the tiny girls have in their favor. It’s one of the many reasons I say that while I may have a predilection toward tall (preferably Asian) women, I just love women in general. They’ve all got their own special thing that I love about them. Even tiny ones…. 🙂

And for fun here are a few photos of me and my Nemesis. She’s not the girl from last week, just an old friend. We are locked in an epic battle that I will get into more in another post. AND I WILL DESTROY HER!!!!