A Tall Girl’s attempt at Dating (in a short world)

Let me start out by saying that I strongly dislike being single.  My last relationship was 4 1/2 years and I miss being part of a couple.  I like the partnership, the fun, the giggles, the ability to do things together: movies, dinners, snuggling, anything really.  I had thought this last one was forever but I guess you both need to want the same things, right?  So here I am starting over and trying to figure it all out, once again.

I’m searching for Mr. Right…

Which brings me to the how.  How do you meet people?  I’m 39.  When I was in college you met people…in college.  In classes, at the bar, at the library.  People were everywhere!  Now if I go anywhere, I find that the men are all married.  Or really short.  But let me clarify my last point, height doesn’t matter THAT much to me although my last relationship taught me that having someone close to my height was really nice.  I’d prefer to have my next man/boyfriend/lover to be able to gaze longingly into my eyes….

So what do I do?  How can I meet single, taller men?  Well….I’m choosing Match.com.  Last week I uploaded my profile and crossed my fingers.  I tried Match years ago and was disappointed.  I got tons of ‘winks’ from very old men and extremely short men.  Nothing against either, but definitely not what I was looking for.  Maybe it was a good lesson for me because now I have low expectations and high hopes.

One of my profile pictures. Will it snag me a date? Wait and see!

So far I’ve gotten more than enough uninteresting ‘winks’.  I mean seriously, do men read my ‘what I’m looking for’ section and then think, “Ah, she’ll make an exception for me!  I may be 5’5″ and 66 years old but she’s definitely going to fall for me!”  When I wrote that I was looking for men between 28 and 45, I really meant that.  And when I wrote that I was looking for men over 6’2″, I meant that as well.  I like self-confidence in a man but too much is not a good look on anyone.

So here I go….wading out into the seemingly uncrowded dating pool.  Will I be lucky in love?  I’ll keep you updated periodically as I continue this journey.  Wish me luck!  Keep reading to find out more…..  😉

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Settle for Holli?

I was re-reading some old journal and blog entries from years ago and I came across one that made me laugh. But before I talk about what I did, let me talk about Brian.

Several years ago (okay, about 10 years) I was living in Des Moines, IA and somebody forwarded me this hilarious link. I’ve never forgotten about it and it popped up today as I was thinking about what to write for this blog. The link was called: SettleforBrian.com and I searched for it today hoping to share this with you but alas, the link is no longer accessible.

This is what Brian called his 'worst picture ever'.

A 30 year old guy named Brian Wolf was tired of trying the Match.com’s and the eHarmoney’s so he created a website called Settle for Brian.  His theory behind the title is that there are no perfect relationships and he very carefully laid out all of what he thought were his pros and cons on the site.  This way all women would know exactly what she was getting into if she contacted him, no games.  The site was funny, witty and the pictures were hilarious.

‘Forget about finding perfection’ he writes, ‘because it doesn’t exist’.  So he offers himself, as  himself.  He also offers a myriad of his pros and cons and he also listed at the top of the site that he doesn’t want kids.  I love the honesty.

Food for thought, here are some of his pros and cons that I could find still out there on the internet:

Pros

  • Pros:-I’m 6′ tall. 6’1 on a good day. So unless you’re an amazon, you can wear heels and still feel comfortable with me.
  • I have a pretty good sense of humor. I once saran wrapped a co-worker’s car for April Fool’s Day.
  • I’m not fat.
  • I shower every day without fail.
  • I know all the words to “Baby Got Back.”
  • I own my own tux.

Cons

  • I’m balding up front. I take propecia, but I don’t think it’s working. It costs a ridiculous $60 a month, but I take it anyway on the off chance that it’s slowing down my hair loss. Pretty pathetic, really. Ironically, while I’m losing the hair on my head, I’ve got way too much on my legs
  • I have a poor sense of style. Left to my own devices, I would pick ugly clothing, so I am perfectly happy to let women pick out the clothes they want me to buy. I guess this could be a pro if you are a control freak.
  • Sometimes for pictures I try to do Blue Steel a la Zoolander. What I end up with are really bizarre pictures…

Okay, I know that above does not do the true site justice but it was fantastic!  The guy was hilarious and had I lived near him, I totally would’ve contacted him.  Although…his comment about his height and the amazon thing leads me to believe he may not be comfortable with a taller woman.

Bad photo of me...for the record, I am NOT a husker fan. Go IOWA HAWKEYES!!!!

Anyway, so a LONG time ago when I had a blog on myspace (which has been taken down for several years) I was goofing around and did something similar.  I put a list of my pros and cons out there although mine were more for fun.   I’ll put them at the end but this whole thought-process got me to thinking about how we try to cover our imperfections especially when we are in relationships or if we are trying to find that someone special.  I applaud this guy for at least attempting to start the conversation of “here’s my bad stuff, now let’s hear about yours” because that’s so rare.

Being as tall as I am I can’t hide.  You automatically see one of my pros (or cons if you don’t like tall women) but that’s okay, it’s my conversation starter and it works every time.  What’s yours?

And now onto my Pros/Cons!
Pros: I’m no good. Rotten to the core. I punch little kids and trip old people. I’m weird and I play video games. I consider cold hot dogs a staple for weekend lunches. Coffee and mexican food unfortunately have no effect on my intestines. I make fun of everyone. I wear white after labor day. I like to drink on Sundays. I have a membership in the Earth Children series. I dance alone. Bad punctuation and grammer downright tick me off.

Cons: I have a conscience and morals (damn). I eat steak. I favor iceburg lettuce over the healtier choice of spinach. I think monopoly was the best game the Parker Brothers ever invented. I like cats. I prefer rain over sunshine. I enjoy my job.

Tall Dating–A Personal Experience, Part 2

I apologize for stopping so abruptly last week but I noticed how long the story was and my head was still full of things to say. I knew I couldn’t finish everything so I decided to rip it like a band-aid and finish it this week.  So if you are reading this blog for the first time, please feel free to check out last week’s blog so you can ‘catch up’.

So, I’m pouring out a bit of my soul to you in sharing a few of my dating stories because in comparison to many women, I don’t have as many stories. However, I’m more than willing to share what I’ve got because inevitably, they wind up funny.

So we’re off again with little bits ad pieces of stories, no names (unless it’s a good story)…let’s see, there’s the 35 year old guy I met one night while out with friends. Divorced, which is pretty typical nowadays and he was pretty tall. I think about 6’2′” or 6’3″. We agreed to meet for lunch in a couple of days.

When we met, as I mentioned, I was out with friends so it was a much easier situation.  You have familiar faces around you and it is much more comfortable than if you were on a blind date.  The guy was really nice and he was with his brother so I fully expected our lunch date to run just as smoothly as our night.

Now I was about 34 at the time so outwardly I’m a grown woman (you all know I’m still a dorky kid in my head) so when he arrived to pick me up for the date and when he handed me a ‘mix CD’ I felt like I was in the twilight zone. What happened to flowers? Or even a nice welcoming hug? There had been no previous conversations about music so I was surprised. Is this now the thing to do? Are mix CD’s back in style like they were when I was in 10th grade?

I fumbled through the rest of the date and it was painfully awkward. He felt silly when I mumbled, ‘Thanks’ and shoved the CD in my purse. I felt silly when I couldn’t feign more excitement. Yeah…he didn’t call me.

Oh, and I shouldn’t leave out the other guy that was a bit taller than me.  We went out for several weeks.  He had a girlfriend that he ‘forgot’ about.  She didn’t forget.  All of her phone calls one night made that crystal clear.

So let’s go back to Match.com.  I thought I was fairly specific in my criteria of what I was looking to find in my ‘soul-mate’ however the majority of responses were from either really short men or very old men.  I had a light-hearted feel to my profile and my tag line said,

Another Match Profile shot.

“Go ahead, ask me how the weather is up here!  Just don’t ask me what happened to the last guy that did that.”

At first I wanted to be polite to everyone. I acknowledged every e-mail with an e-mail typically saying, ‘Thanks, but no thanks’. But they would continue to e-mail and it got to the point of being almost nasty.  I was accused of being stuck-up, unwilling to try dating shorter men, small-minded, the list goes on.  Obviously after several horrible e-mails I started ignoring those that I didn’t even want to bother with.  And then soon after, I stopped even checking Match. com.

Just a quick side note, I do know several couples that have met and married from meeting on Match.com so it works…just not for me.

So at this point, I’m living in Portland, I don’t know very many people and I’ve decided I’ve got to find a way to meet new friends.  I’ve mentioned it before but this is when I joined the Portland Skyliners Tall ClubDisclaimer:  I did not join to meet TALL men.

I joined in May 2007 and attended social functions through the summer and fall.  Then at one particular social function in November 2007 I met an interesting man.  I thought, ‘Here’s a guy I could be friends with!’.  A few months later we were dating and we are still together.

Kinda goofy, but my 3rd picture on Match.

What’s really funny about meeting him is that he had winked at me on Match but it was at the point where I stopped looking completely.  Yes, he’s a little taller than me which is definitely nice but not one of my requirements.

Okay, now I get on my soapbox and I’ll wind up with a list (I love lists!).  Dating is tough regardless of your height, weight, looks, smarts, pretty much everything.  The good thing is there is enough variety for all persons to be covered.  The hard part is finding your niche.  Being a TALL female I found the following to be true most of the time

  1. Typically, men don’t like to date women taller than them however if YOU don’t care, they won’t care (as much).
  2. I found that more men wanted to date me on Match than I probably had time for so if you want an active social life and you want to try dating men of all different personalities, Match.com may be for you.
  3. I had a lot of friends who always knew of someone who was ‘perfect’ for me simply because he was taller…..hmmm.
  4. Match.com provided me with some of the greatest laughs and best reading material I’ve ever read in my entire life.  Seriously.
  5. I personally don’t enjoy being propositioned by extremely, pushy men via e-mail (I don’t know many tall women that actually like this…PLEASE COMMENT IF I’M WRONG!!!).
  6. ‘Dating for Fun’ is one of the stupidest phrases anyone has ever spoken to me in a sentence.
  7. Grandma was actually right, if you stop looking, that’s usually when you find that someone special.

So I guess to recap, TALL dating isn’t any harder than overcoming other issues in life.  If you don’t care about height, your confidence will shine and others will be attracted to you.  This is my own personal experience.

Tall Dating–A Personal Experience

Before I go into my official subject I first want to say that I’ve been absent for several weeks.  My life got in the way of my blogging.  But…I’m back!!! And very excited to share some more of my life stories with you.  Hang on!!!

Okay, onto the always touchy subject of dating…ahem…Tall Dating. I got this idea because I was google searching for TALL clothes and somehow this Yahoo Answers site popped up.  (http://answers.yahoo.com). If you remember, back in September Anne did a fantastic blog about ‘How to Date a Tall Girl’ and she had a similar experience.  Some random TALL question popped up on her google alerts.  Anne actually gave advice to the young lad on how to date a tall girl and her advice was sound and very well thought out.  Her blog should be required reading material for any man who would like to date a TALL woman (I’m going to throw an exception in there for the short men who have a fantasy of dating TALL women.  We are not your playground.

Anyway, I got to thinking about my personal dating experiences and I thought I might share a few.  Some are very funny, some are quite silly, and I might share one where I hope that ‘he’ isn’t reading this…but all in all, doesn’t everyone have a story to tell?

So you all know my background: TALL girl who grew up with 3 other sisters, played sports, hilariously funny, charmingly witty, ridiculously silly…and more importantly I had 35 people in my graduating class.  8 boys, 27 girls.  I didn’t date anyone from my high school because there was NO one to date.  Although surprisingly there was one guy taller than me.  Thankfully that’s who I got to walk with at graduation.

In high school I had the grand illusions of finding a man taller than me.  I wasn’t going to accept anything less.  I was SO naive!  There was one guy in a neighboring town named Ryan.  He was 6’9″ and I knew him a little bit because we’d met while ‘scooping the loop’ in Mason City, IA.  I somehow got the nerve to call him out of the blue and ask him to a dance at our high school.  He was so gracious and I’ll never forget what he said when I asked him, “I would love to go, but I don’t think my girlfriend would like it.”  I’ve always thought that was such a great turn-down.

When I did finally meet someone in high school SURPRISE, he was 5’7″ and I thought he looked just like Corey Haim.  I met him also while ‘scooping the loop’ (it was the thing to do in small town IA) and he was really fun.  He was the one that taught me that height really isn’t everything.  He didn’t care that I was taller than him.  In fact, he thought it was kinda cool.  I still have his class ring…oops.

Then college came and I learned that dating isn’t as much fun as having a gazillion guy friends to hang out with.  Guy friends meant that you were the envy of all the girls and you also got invited to all of cool parties, especially when your best friend was a football player.  Now this didn’t mean I stopped dating, it just meant I was more interested in having fun with my friends.  I was never left off a party invite and I knew everyone in college.  It was a great time!

Then came the real world.  Time to settle down a bit and become part of the working world.  My friends were starting to settle down and of course, I wasn’t.  How in the world was I supposed to find ‘the One’?  So I went on this Tall Dating website back in the mid 90’s.  It was more to meet people than anything but hey, it’s worth a try.

I met a few people, but I didn’t date a single one.  One try down, now on to Match.com.  This is where the real fun begins.

This was my Match.com profile picture.

So after I sorted through all of the winks and all of the short men looking for a good time I started chatting with a really funny guy.  I mean really funny.  I’m a sucker for a witty guy who can make me laugh out loud and this guy seemed to have it all.  So we went on a date.  Let me start off by saying he didn’t really look like his picture, he wasn’t 6’2″.  It’s a good thing that I don’t mind shorter men.  Okay, no big deal.  We started talking and immediately I noticed that he seemed very…paranoid.  I won’t go into our conversations because quite frankly, I wouldn’t even know how to print it but at the end of the date we had ended up parking in the same garage.  He told me he had something to show me in his car and would I mind walking to his car?  Well duh, I minded but I’m the curious sort so I did.  He asked me to sit in his car and he reached under the front seat.

He asks me if I like the song “Amazing Grace’.  I say no.  It’s a funeral song and it makes me cry every time I hear it.  So he asks if I like the song “Under the Boardwalk’.  I say yes…..he then pulls out his harmonica and serenades me with ‘Under the Boardwalk’.  I was stunned.  But that wasn’t the end.  Halfway through the song he stops and asks me to ‘sing along’.

In case you are wondering….I chose not to sing.

I’m getting a little wordy tonight so I’m going to wrap up and continue this conversation next week.  Until then…